Silent Night (2023) - Muted Action

Have American movie goers forgotten the legacy of ⁠John Woo⁠? Why have producers thought that ⁠Joel Kinnaman⁠ is a movie star? Can action movies be experimental? Is "Die Hard" the only badass Christmas movie?

Audiences seemed like they were not ready to ask these questions. Fearing that the feature may not get a chance to become a new holiday classic, ⁠CatBusRuss⁠ went and checked out "⁠Silent Night⁠" after its opening weekend. It is Woo's cinematic return to Western cinema after 20 years and a feature that takes its title literally. Can a movie only have a soundtrack of gun shots, detonations, and tires squealing? How do you offer up one liners?

Milla Jovovich - 2, Winona Ryder - 1 (Presented by AllysAccessoriesShop)

To conclude this year's edition of ⁠"AllysAccessoriesShop on Etsy⁠'s Trash Feature Revue", ⁠CatBusRuss⁠ does his best to pit two actresses against each other. The girl of his offbeat film preadolescence, ⁠Winona Ryder⁠, and the woman of his low-brow cinema adulthood, ⁠Milla Jovovich⁠. How did "⁠The Fifth Element⁠'s" Leeloo defeat "⁠Beetlejuice⁠'s" Lydia Deetz? How convoluted is this episode going to be?

To add some cohesion to the closure of the Trash Feature Revue, our host decided to find a connection between Milla's and Winona's filmographies. The answer, ⁠Ben Stiller⁠'s "⁠Zoolander⁠". Jovovich is fifth billed and Ryder only has a cameo, but is more prevalent in the trailer. We can call that a tie, so whose film representing Y and # was better: The rom-com where Milla tries carrying ⁠David Krumholtz⁠ to stardom, "⁠You Stupid Man⁠"; Or the hippie movie led by a ⁠Kiefer Sutherland⁠ and ⁠Robert Downey Jr⁠. ensemble, "⁠1969⁠"?

This could be messy because the Milla flick was introduced to ⁠Russ⁠ from the ex who was prior to Ally. Does this podcast compare his most recent relationships? Give it a listen and be as judgmental as you like.

Wonka, A Dangerous Method, and the Top Discovery with Shoes On

Ninety For Chill⁠ is closing out 2023 with some cinematic banter from ⁠ThePoeticCritic⁠. ⁠CatBusRuss⁠ and his big sister discuss how the movie landscape has changed, be it offerings for the multiplexes or streaming services. Their primary concern: Where are the movies?

Our host is more concerned about where to stream them. With the top electronic retailer deciding to stop selling physical media, ⁠CatBus⁠ is out to grab the remaining worthwhile steelbooks. Too bad Universal/Comcast is willing to license their features to other streamers. Peacock should be enough to watch "The Super Mario Bros. Movie". He is not going to subscribe to Netflix.

Thank Viacom for keeping "⁠Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem⁠" on Paramount+. But what will happen in Paramount and WBD merge?

ThePoeticCritic is more concerned about the movie-going experience. She explains how there just does not seem to be anything to draw people in most weekends. "⁠Wonka⁠" was her grand exception to the rule, but Disney and DC movies are not bringing in the money that they use to. Taylor Swift shows that people want events to attend. Where are those grand narratives that should take screens away from the Swifties?

Despite the drama, we want to end the podcast on a positive note. At least Russ did. So he discusses his most recent binge to make sure he has all angles covered when determining the top discovery this year. The annual obligatory David Cronenberg feature is his adaptation of the play based on the book about the relationship between Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud, "⁠A Dangerous Method⁠". Was it too grounded to take the top discovery spot from "⁠X⁠" or "⁠Marcel the Shell with Shoes On⁠"?

If only a Cronenberg would direct an "Evil Dead" movie. "⁠Evil Dead Rise⁠" was excellent, but was it anything more than a reskin on "⁠Evil Dead (2013)⁠"?

And to honor past guest of the show ⁠Jonathan "A Film to Fight For" Romeo⁠, CatBus watched "⁠Saint Maud⁠" as per the suggestion from "⁠Possessive Forces vs. #Cinemastodon's Exorcists⁠". Stick around after the chat with TPC to hear our host's critique of this high-concept, A24 horror.

3M Movie Marathon: Men of War, Black Mask 2, Stone Cold, Batman: Death in the Family

Hopefully everyone has had a great start to 2024. With all the festivities, finding a guest was going to be next to impossible, so ⁠CatBusRuss⁠ got a week off to relax. Or did he?

These festive times means most people have little time, so our host had to make up for this with an action movie binge. This will be the closest to an ⁠Illinois Central College⁠ hosted ⁠B-Fest⁠. that we think you can find. ⁠Russ⁠ wanted to clear out some of the cheap and/or hard to find DVDs from his queue. From his past two February trips up to Evanston, he thinks he has come up with a quadruple feature that would make the Northwestern programmers proud.

Not all of the flicks discussed will make the cut. If you want to learn more about Chris Jericho, stick around to the end for an "⁠Android Apocalypse⁠" review. In an attempt to get you ready for the CG chaos of "⁠Black Mask 2: City of Masks⁠", our host did revisit the 1996(9) ⁠Jet Li⁠ feature, "⁠Black Mask⁠".

The final line up of four fun-filled films is ⁠Ivan Drago⁠ vs ⁠Kano (95)⁠ in the mercenary tale, "⁠Men of War⁠", the mutant-pro-wrestling allegory, "Black Mask 2", ⁠Brian Bosworth⁠ vs. ⁠Lance Henriksen⁠ in biker porn, "⁠Stone Cold⁠", and the choose your own adventure, DC Animated Feature "⁠Batman: Death in the Family⁠". Imagine how that can turn an audience on each other.

All of the features can be found streaming (provided you want to spend $12.99 for BM2). The only way right now to watch "Stone Cold" is currently on Pluto TV via "⁠Rifftrax⁠". Here's hoping Bill, Kevin, and Mike's transfer is as good as my blu-ray.

Roadside Prophets with Tim Loss

For those who listened to the entirety of "⁠3M Movie Marathon⁠", ⁠CatBusRuss⁠ mentioned his attempt to record a podcast with ⁠Tim Loss⁠ about "MacGruber". It was part of ⁠Russ⁠'s efforts to watch and discuss the entire sub 100-minute filmography of Chris Jericho. What is disappointing about this recording not happening is that Tim really impressed our host with their conversation about ⁠Abbe Wool⁠'s "⁠Roadside Prophets⁠".

For the two to take on a "Saturday Night Live" comedy after an excellent motorcycle movie, it would have definitely been an interesting conversation. At least the Y2J glorification was avoided.

Talking about glorification, "Roadside Prophets" is a flick that deserves it. Fun cameos from hippie legends, an unhinged ⁠John Cusack⁠, and the film is carried by Generation X (the age not the band) musicians, ⁠John Doe⁠ and ⁠Adam Horovitz⁠, Prophets is the spiritual sequel to "⁠Easy Rider⁠". If you want a grunge vibe on the road trip genre instead of a counter culture tale of the open road, this film is for you.

Rewind Wednesday: Stealing Harvard with JD Grieving

J.D. Grieving⁠ from the ⁠JDHD Series⁠ graces us with his presence to discuss "⁠Stealing Harvard⁠". For a 17 year-old J.D., this helped lay the groundwork for his own style of comedy. For a 22 year-old ⁠CatBusRuss⁠, I needed something to further bury the memory of "Freddy Got Fingered".

Stealing Harvard (2002) was directed by "The Kids in the Hall" alumnus Bruce McCulluch and stars "Mallrat" Jason Lee, MTV star Tom Green, Judd Apatow muse Leslie Mann, and cop-turned-actor Dennis Farina.

#TBT Bonus: Spaceballs with Jessica Kwazz & ThePoeticCritic

Jessica Kwazz⁠⁠ from the "⁠⁠Second Chance Movies Podcast⁠⁠" expresses her love for ⁠⁠Mel Brook⁠⁠'s "⁠⁠Spaceballs⁠⁠" while ⁠⁠ThePoeticCritic⁠⁠ returns with the history of how this feature became a classic. ThePoeticCritic and ⁠⁠CatBusRuss⁠⁠ discuss why "Star Wars" was nearly abandoned while Jessica tells of her admiration of cinema's GREATEST franchise.

Spaceballs stars Bill Pullman as Solo/Skywalker hybrid Lonestar, John Candy as Barf the Mog, Rick Moranis as what 2005's Hayden Christensen should have ended up as, Dark Helmet.

@HDTGM Pandering: Rollerball (2002), Jason Statham's Blitz + ThePoeticCritic

So "⁠Ninety For Chill⁠" is addressing the ⁠Chris Klein⁠-led "⁠Rollerball⁠" remake. This obviously means the past couple of weeks have been a comedy of errors for ⁠CatBusRuss⁠. These faults include: car issues, difficulty finding guests for the show and balancing them with his dating life, and enduring another "far right" kick.

Comedy is the key term in that paragraph. The "⁠How Did This Get Made⁠" movie podcast will be covering ⁠John McTiernan⁠'s "Rollerball" on Friday, January 26, 2024. To get the most out of this, our host is doing his homework.

To further be on the same page as the ⁠HDTGM⁠ crew, ⁠CatBus⁠ went into his vaults to review "⁠Blitz⁠". This British police procedural stars patron saint of ⁠Paul Scheer⁠, ⁠Jason Mantzoukas⁠, and ⁠June Diane Raphael⁠'s podcast, ⁠Jason Statham⁠. In other words, ⁠Russ⁠ could not manage the time to see the latest Statham action flick, "⁠The Beekeeper⁠". Nothing seems to be working out for the overworked podcaster.

To further emphasize the difficulties Russ has been having, he did have another chat about the state of cinema with ⁠ThePoeticCritic⁠. Too bad the mics were not set up ideally. But the audio can be heard with a bit of static, so it maybe worthwhile to stick through this week's featured reviews.

After two movies reviews and forty minutes of chatter, you also get to further participate in the burial of Chris Jericho. CatBus may need to get through the "Terrifier" franchise to be fair to The Ocho, but after "⁠Albino Farm⁠", he is left thinking that Y2J may not be able to provide any positive contributions outside of the ring.

#RewindWednesday: The Lost Boys with @CouchManBakes

As always noted on "⁠Ninety For Chill: The Podcast with CatBusRuss⁠", you maybe able to get a clue of what a future episode maybe about if you follow the host's Letterboxd. If that would take up too much time, then let this conversation with ⁠Andrew "CouchManBakes" Tiede⁠ about a classic vampire movie allow you to offer a prediction for February's first podcast.

⁠Andrew Tiede⁠ and ⁠CatBusRuss⁠ investigate what maybe the spiritual sequel to "The Goonies", ⁠Joel Schumacher's "The Lost Boys"⁠. With this rewatch, our host was actually intrigued by ⁠ThePoeticCritic's⁠ opinion that this feature is nothing more than rose...should we say...blood-tinted nostalgia. Thankfully, this week's guest reminded CatBus the national treasure that is Timmy Cappello. These two eighties kids always have a ball watching this vampire feature, and throw in their parallel paths to their forties, we get some fun Cubs and wrestling themed tangents to accompany the blood sucking fun.

From Dusk Till...Marathon with @CouchManBakes

Andrew "CouchManBakes" Tiede⁠ makes his 2024 return to "Ninety For Chill", and once again, the feature that he wanted to chat about was just over 100 minutes long. The feature is the ⁠Robert Rodriguez⁠ directed (and ⁠Quentin Tarantino⁠ co-penned) "⁠From Dusk Till Dawn⁠". This of course means that to cover this feature, ⁠CouchMan⁠ and ⁠CatBusRuss⁠ must partake in a marathon.

For the most part, Rodriguez's movies have fairly tight runtimes, so our host should have had no difficulty coming up with a movie marathon dedicated to El Rey. Well, the Tex-Mex tinged James Bond tribute "⁠Machete Kills⁠" was just a couple of minutes too long. To assure that we still have a ⁠Danny Trejo⁠ triple feature before Midnight's main event, ⁠Russ⁠ chose to open the festivities with the Tarantino/Rodriguez produced, ⁠Robert Patrick⁠-led, vampire-themed bank heist flick, "⁠From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money⁠". To justify skipping "Machete", The Six Raven Movie House still programmed the original trailer with the first feature of 2007's ⁠"Grindhouse"⁠, "⁠Planet Terror⁠".

Andrew has yet to program a quadruple feature for his Sasquatch Cinema House, and the trend continues. Unlike the prior marathon (⁠The Marathon: Child's Play, Wraiths, and Other THINGs⁠), he skipped trying to find three sub 100-minute movies and just chose bangers from Rodriguez's filmography. These are the third "El Mariachi" tale, "⁠Once Upon a Time in Mexico⁠" and his collaboration with comic book legend ⁠Frank Miller⁠, "⁠Sin City⁠".

On paper, this could be a contentious podcast. We have Amber Heard versus Johnny Depp after all. If Andrew's triple feature was not enough, his cinema has just become 420 friendly. Surely it is better to go to the Russ's theater that now features an arcade for the kids? Of course, the two cannot get too heated once their shared love for "⁠Lucha Underground⁠" is discussed.

@BFest 2024 & ThePoeticCritic

For the first time since CatBusRuss started making the annual trip to Evanston, ThePoeticCritic accompanied her little brother to B-Fest. It is a celebration of “The Best of the Worst” in motion pictures. That is a bit of hyperbole, and the two siblings will try to support that claim with there recap of the events. B-Fest at least met our host’s expectations. Bad musicals (The Apple), some deep hurting (She-Devils on Wheels), kaiju (Tammy and the T-Rex), and roller skates (The Monkey Hustle). If only there was some classic action, but we will let the elder sibling speak on that (Runaway).

#RewindWednesday: Buckaroo Banzai vs. ThePoeticCritic

Jeff Goldblum maybe ⁠NinetyForChill's⁠ "In case of fire, break glass" metaphor. It is an easy means to bring ⁠ThePoeticCritic⁠ back on the show to discuss a classic sci-fi feature. (With Jim Carrey's rubberface, we would be consider that to be syfy.) The guy who was the blue alien may draw TPC out, but Peter Weller seems to have an ability to capture ⁠CatBusRuss's⁠ attention. Throw in some Clancy Brown, and he will be there. Needless to say, our host has the Shout! Factory's Steelbook of 1984's "⁠The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension⁠", an underappreciated blueprint of how all comic book movies should operate.

"Coraline" in 12 Parsecs with HappyBeebsMeowMeow

It is never too late to start the New Year. Some people hope to just get out of their comfort zone. That is the goal of Brandy Stonum, or should we call her ⁠HappyBeebsMeowMeow⁠.

With a Twitch handle like that, watching a movie where a feline plays a big role seemed perfect. So ⁠CatBusRuss⁠ was able to bend the rules of the podcast a bit, ⁠Han Solo style⁠, and allowed ⁠Henry Selick⁠'s ⁠Neil Gaiman⁠ adaptation, "⁠Coraline⁠", be the focus of the show.

⁠CatBusRuss⁠ has been trying to get one of his best Champaign/Urbana pals onto the podcast since about the inception of the show. The two chat about and have watched movies in each other's company over the past couple of years, so he thought content would come naturally. Our host thought the biggest issue was just finding a movie to fit the parameters of the pod, but people can just be nervous about putting themselves out there.

This was probably true of ⁠Russ⁠ until he had to cut his first wrestling promo. There were just too many quiet goth wrestlers in Peoria. Creating a character was the only in he had.

Brandy is a few weeks from bringing her Twitch channel online, so like our film's protagonist, she has to make the online world in her image and not have it handed to her. Hopefully, we can get her back on the podcast once her channel goes live, but until then, lets revel in her cinematic intelligence and patience when it comes to dealing with the ⁠CatBus⁠.

Super Mario Bros. 93 with Ta2Squid

If it is a movie adapted from a video game, you may lure out the ⁠Ta2Squid⁠. ⁠CatBusRuss⁠ welcomes a returning ⁠Andras Bodolai⁠ to ⁠Ninety For Chill: The Podcast⁠ for a chat about what is essentially the first attempt at bringing characters from a home gaming console to the big screen, "⁠Super Mario Bros. (1993)⁠".

Our host's first conversation with his fellow podcaster was about 2005's "⁠Doom⁠". Like the ⁠John Leguizamo⁠ and ⁠Bob Hoskins⁠ led movie, most do not remember that feature fondly (if at all as displayed by Kollin from the ⁠Trash Panda Podcast⁠). But, there has not been a reclamation effort for the Dwayne Johnson film. Maybe more time needs to pass. Give it 30 years (and a billion-dollar animated feature), and Karl Urban's Doom Slayer might get his proper due.

Russ thinks a narrative might still hold the Martian-based movie back. It would not have even needed a sane one because what ⁠Dennis Hopper⁠ movies do?

⁠CatBus⁠ and his guest discuss how this may have been a bad adaptation of the source material, but a fun mind shag of movie that walked so "⁠Mortal Kombat⁠" could kick ass. This ⁠Screen Drafts⁠ Marquee of Fame entrant maybe a flawed masterpiece. The direction is lacking, but this is a movie that has a crazy enough story and charming enough characters that it may have been a decade too late for when the audience would have ate this flick up. And/or, it was a decade too early which prevented meta-obsessed fanatics from appreciating it.

It definitely needs more attention since this is only the first round of the Leguizamo v. Hopper battle. Hit CatBusRuss on social media if you would like to discuss George A. Romero's "⁠Land of the Dead⁠".

If you find this episode interesting (despite the technical issues...and a "⁠Ghostbusters (2016)⁠" review), we hope you still have a DVD player because that is the only legal way to watch this underappreciated film.

Gregory Carl (#Critic) & "The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane" (#Film)

If there is a master of spotting subtle horror on Shudder, it is ⁠Gregory Carl⁠. This week he suggested a film that has a horror-worthy premise with "⁠The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane⁠" featuring a 14 year-old ⁠Jodie Foster⁠. It is a feature that turns the seemingly defenseless adolescent premise on its head while maintaining all that 1970s creepiness in all its glory.

The Princess Bride vs. HappyBeebsMeowMeow

HappyBeebsMeowMeow⁠ (or just Beebs) returns to the podcast to discuss another one of her favorite movies, "⁠The Princess Bride⁠". A movie with ⁠Christopher Guest⁠ and Andre the Giant, how could ⁠CatBusRuss⁠⁠ resist?

Ninety For Chill's guest said this was a feature that she knew so well, that she did not require a rewatch. To make sure everyone was in the right headspace, ⁠CatBusRuss⁠ had the feature running as the two discussed this classic comedy. After the two gush over the brilliance of ⁠Rob Reiner⁠'s second classic (Russ has not seen "Stand By Me" or "The Sure Thing", but both fit the runtime parameters of the podcast.) they essentially enjoy a virtual viewing of the film. Please do not judge our host too harshly for his attempts to do the dialogue justice.

Russ and Beebs do their best to really understand the genius of this family classic. As ⁠Joel Siegel⁠ stated, "This is Walt Disney meets Monty Python". That is short changing the efforts of the son of ⁠Mel Brooks⁠'s original comedy partner, ⁠Carl Reiner⁠. "The Princess Bride" is Mel Brooks's humor meets ⁠William Goldman⁠'s understanding of what makes a perfect screenplay. If Rob Reiner had more features under his belt when he directed this, he may have had the skill to make the best film of all time. The more Russ has seen it, the better it gets. Does Beebs agree?

Before I Go to Sleep (2014)

CatBusRuss reviews a Ridley Scott-produced Nicole Kidman vehicle from 2014. It is safe to say that this is under seen which is a shame when you also have Colin Firth and Mark Strong in the cast.

We are probably all familiar with the Adam Sandler/Drew Barrymore movie "50 First Dates". Kidman's character is suffering from a similar dilemma to Barrymore (being unable to recall anything after falling asleep). Her husband (Firth) thinks it is best to just isolate her since she cannot create any memories, but a neuroscientist (Strong) is hopeful that he can restore her memory. Or, at the very least, solve the mystery of who attacked her and left her in this state.

"Before I Go to Sleep" (2014) Review

CatBusRuss

Bit - Bite Club Is the Fight Club the Ladies Needed

“Bit” is a fine indie film about modern vampire and how beneficial to society they can be. The feminist values make this a film that should be heralded even higher and taking the time to acknowledge the Stoker mythology makes it a great addition to the genre.

There are some lulls when it comes to providing a backstory about how this Los Angeles coven came to be, but the tale about growing up keeps the audience involved along with the issues with the patriarchy that is wants to address. The low key nature is charming but may turn off traditional horror fans. This is an intelligent comedy first and foremost, but it provides enough blood and drama to keep anyone amused.

Assassination of a High School President: Because there wasn't enough jail bait in "The Usual Suspects"

The 2008 Sundance Film Festival hit, "Assassination of a High School President" wide release was prevented due to its own ambitions. Not having the finances to be distributed on the big screen, DVD has now allowed audiences to see what would be considered the “Heathers” of this generation.Finally, there is a film that allows all of us to forget about the mockery that the "High School Musical" trilogy made of the first truly turbulent time in all of our lives.

90 Minute Netflix DVD: "Armed Response" or The Turd Seth Cannot Polish

It is a tough stretch for me. By the end of this Saturday shift, I will be half way between my work, best be sleeping, work schedule. I will get a day off before I am back at work, and then it is doing my best to treat my girlfriend for her birthday in Chicago. Only frustrating thing about that is that I will not be able to get my finer clothes washed by my folks since I will be exhausted come Tuesday. My ability to "best be sleeping" is rather poor.

Tonight, I should not have an excuse to avoid bed. Cold fried chicken awaits me (too bad throwing peppers on top of a sauce makes atomic wings from Wingstop nearly inedible, hence more cooking to be done) at home and my "Fucking Brilliant" journal is at least in the car. My streak of movie reviews will continue, provided I remember to take it from the car to the desk. Because of this, "Last Week Tonight" should be the only programming I need (Why did last night's episode of Comedy.tv have to to feature Maria Bamford? I needed sleep). There should be no need for me to access Amazon Prime to watch an 80's horror movie.

I do fear my satire is falling to the wayside by doing this movie catch up. It makes me reminisce of my second trip through Illinois Central College. Give me due dates, and I will deliver something to be defanged by the competent editor. My righteous butt appreciated the awareness during the second half of my time at ICC's newspaper, The Harbinger, but it was fun putting the reputation of the paper on the line with pro-steroid pieces.

Steroids, that is probably a good spot to stop tonight. Dolph Ludgren, Michael Jai White, Danny Trejo; these are all stars in the journal. The only other thing on my mind is how The Wrestling Compadres may have managed to prevent me from cancelling them for another month. Praise the "Tom Magee" documentary on the WWE Network while bad mouthing me for not wanting to watch a booking turd like "Money in the Bank" inspires to me to want to engage in their tit for tat, despite the number of times I have been edited for their own su-su-su-su-spect devices. Thrice, pro-feminism views had been cut.

All these movie reviews I am teasing have wrestling parallels, so I should stick to the transition, but when I think about all the times I have been edited, it makes me wonder if I should just try to podcast. My stuff looks good written, but how does it work for the audiophiles? Anchor (thanks for the tip Spotify) says it is easier than ever to find out.

Podcasting does seem to be about talking in circles, so my writing should be fine. At least I know it is better than that in..."Armed Response," the WWE film where I regret giving Seth Rollins 90 minutes to shine a turd, hence why I will not let his A.J. Styles's match inspire me to watch twice the poor writing to get to.

Armed Response: Working the Broom the Match

When WWE says they want to attach you to a film, you will not get to offer a negative response. From a certain legitimate podcast ("The Art of Wrestling: Thanksgiving 2014"), it seems that you just say, "Thanks for the time off." Pretend that making a film is like the TV format, celebrate the lack of bumps and hope you do not have to do the favor for Anne Heche. Insist that the sentient, telepathic prison scores the fall. This is the Gene Simmons produced "Armed Response."

Still recovering from letting go of his daughter's bike too soon during a lesson adjacent a highway, Gabriel (TV's Dave Annable) is called back to action by his former army comrades Isaac (Wesley Snipes) and Riley (Anne Heche) to investigate why they lost contact with a high tech black ops prison called a Temple. The crew that was facilitating this were also brothers-in-arms that they served with in Afghanistan. Since Gabriel designed this complex, he is obligated to find some answers.

Can we get a movie where the site is not full of mangled corpes? These mysterious events probably happen all the time, but it is usually a router problem. Hence, we do not hear about it, so we can not presume any other movie cliches.

Temples are an over-sized interrogation system that can measure body chemistry to determine the correct answers of its prisoners. The goal is to avoid the need for torture. But everyone wants to torture someone, and it seems that is no different when it comes to the Temple itself. Everyone in the Temple have their sins, and this house of truth will administer punishment, technology, physics, and chemistry be damned. If you break laws, so will it.

Viewing "Armed Response" was not that painful for me. I was watching this flick hoping it would allow fellow Danny Daniels disciple Seth Rollins a retirement plan, so focus was skewed. Upon reviewing my memories, this is the worst WWE Studios's film to date (at least when featuring WWE talent).

Director John Stockwell had a hell of a 2016. "Countdown" was a great B-movie and "Kickboxer: Vengeance" was better than the original Van Damme film. I suppose WWE thought he was talented enough to make a flick with nothing but past their prime stars and an empty building. This film shows that he is not the Soska Twins (check out my "See No Evil 2" review).

And this incomprehensible script further pisses me off since I cannot get anyone to request a treatment of "Main Event of the Dead." Feel free to email me at russthebus07@gmail.com.

It is called an Intellectual Property. You must have intelligence in your story to earn that distinction. If you do not, you make anyone who lacks tax issues dumber for working on this. No wonder Rollins said yes to Shield reunions instead of taking his ball and running to off to another promotion.

The next worse WWE flick is the Soskas's "Vendetta", but it is light years better than this. It was Dean Cain versus the Big Show. That film gave us something to care about. "Armed Response" is a ghost story without any ghosts. Ghost are supernatural. Computers are not.

Annable is not a star, so it is nothing versus nothing. Snipes and Rollins are the undercard, so there is nobody who can get you invested in this flick. Maybe if the film explained how parallel prison walls can rip limbs from someone, disbelief can be blissfully suspended.

The WWE producers of "Armed Response" should be sued for defaming Stamford's name. If a story makes less sense than Doctor Chris Amann's lawsuit against the Second City Saints, it should not have been green lit regardless of what an idiot from Kiss says.