Essential: My Careers, Yes. Lockdown, Yes. "Demon City Shinjuku", Maybe

Since the film suggests peace between Israel and its Arab neighbors, lets just say in the not too distant future, the primary district of Tokyo, Shinjuku, is a wasteland controlled by vile lowlifes and vengeful spirits. This was the result of a pact made between the demons of hell and Rebi Ra, a practitioner of the chi-dependent martial art of Nenpo who envies any human that possesses more power than him. As a result of his rival Genichiro's sacrifice in battle, the district was separated from the rest of the city, but once Ra regains his strength, the world is doomed.

10 years later, the world's president Kozumi Rama and daughter Sayaka come to visit Japan for the first time. Upon arriving, a bouquet of flowers meant to welcome the president turns out to be a trap from Ra. This attack requires Ra's former master Aguni Rai to be at the president's side as protection, so it seems that no one will be able to stop him from fulfilling his pact with Hell. The only person who may have the knowledge and skills of Nenpo to contend with him is Genichiro's son, Kyoya.

Kyoya was barely a teenager when his father disappeared, and had no time to master Nenpo. Since this seemingly makes him no match for Ra, why should he sacrifice his life only to change nothing? His reluctance to take on the war he just now became aware of seems steadfast, but if he will not go, Sayaka is more than willing to take the task on herself. He cannot just let the girl do this on her own, so despite his better judgment, he will go to war with a realm of demons. Fortunately for him, there are demons and residents who are opposed to Ra's rule, but will that be enough to survive and restore the Monster City?

"Demon City Shinjuku" is the fourth feature by Yoshiaki Kawajiri. If there is any director who I associate with all the negative stereotypes of anime (graphic violence and excessive nudity), it would be him. That maybe an insult to him because I think he has one of the most notable character designs in the industry. But this design serves as a warning that an anime may go over the top in a hurry.

"Demon City" is definitely one of his more restrained features. The first version of this feature that I saw was on the SciFi Channel in the late 1990's. Revisiting it kind of shocked me at moments of blatant sexualization of women, but it turned out that these took nothing away from the story. It leaves you wondering if there was much to take away from to begin with.

The OVA's narrative is rather straight forward and you can tell that they crammed the original novel by Hideyuki Kikuchi into this 82-minute package. Action sequence after action sequence just happens, and that totally takes away from the quest that an unlikely hero is suppose to experience. When it comes to the action, aside from the first demon battle, there is not much to it as a well-placed blow will solve any problem.

There are some great scenes that show you how to cut corners, but only if you want to know how to make a cartoon on the cheap would make this film worth studying. That is kind of a shame because for the year it was made, 1988, it might be the best-looking anime outside of "Akira" and Studio Ghibli. As I said, this was done on the cheap, so I really would like to see another/updated take on "Demon City Shinjuku." At least a version with a English dub that is not used as a voice acting exercise for its cast.

If you can watch "Demon City Shinjuku" with subtitles, this is worth a watch. Too bad finding a free version of that is going to be a challenge. $3.99 for misplaced poor Mexican and British accents is too much.

Brigsby Bear: A Mental Disorder to Rally Around

James Mitchum has been growing up in a post apocalyptic world where VHS is the only thing that allows him to escape the isolation. Every week, a new video is delivered to the bunker. It is the only TV show anyone born after the fall of man knows. At least that is how it was for James. Once Ted and April Mitchum are captured for abducting him as an infant, he is thrown into a world where nothing that he grew up knowing actually exists.

"Brigsby Bear Adventures" was a show produced and developed by Ted to serve as educational programming for his pseudo son, so in order to keep up the illusion of "Fallout: New Salt Lake", James was the only person to ever watch the show. It is the only thing James is interested in, but after his real father, Greg, takes him to see a movie, he discovers there is a way to still hold on to the world he knew, or at least grow beyond it. He is going to conclude the Brigsby story by writing and producing his own feature film.

Being James's only passion, people who try and get to know him cannot help but be mesmerized by his tales of a Chuck E. Cheese robot battling a bearded, cackling sun. His sister Aubrey's friends are all in on making this film and aspiring director Spencer uploading the old tapes to Youtube, the kidnap kid's popularity only grows. With some sympathetic former actors in the police department having access to the show's props, the only things that could possibly stop the film from wrapping up are his real parent's need for him to identify with them and his Google search history that raises a lot of red flags at Homeland Security.

Practical effects are a lost art. If their was ever a greater reason to destroy the Patriot Act, I would like to hear it.

At one hour and 37 minutes, "Brigsby Bear" is a work of genius. You get this convoluted story on top of actual moments of dealing with the trauma of being thrown into a world that you have never known. The story is an inspiring and great tale about the need for compassion and understanding.

There are still some nits to pick. Imagining this film with a budget is something you cannot help but do. The feature does not offer anything in exceptional in terms of primary cast and direction. I think it is a bit too meta to direct the film like the characters directing their own film.

The lead and primary writer Kyle Mooney displays passion well, but the characters who turn out to be his adversaries are too restrained. Perhaps they could have been exaggerated in their efforts to make James face reality, but with Greg Kinnear, Mark Hamill, and all the adolescent characters shine when they get their chance, director Dave McCary's approach may have been appropriate.

With concise direction and writing, it is a shame that "Brigsby Bear" did not get a wider release. It is funny and clever and has a message that I think everyone could benefit from. The actors you came to see deliver and any one from Generation X to Millenials can appreciate the celebration of not quite ready for PBS productions.

Bad Taste (1987)

The Astro Investigation and Defense Service (a joke that may have been ahead of its time) is investigating the town of Kaihoro, New Zealand. There seems to be no locals present, just a group of men in identical blue work shirts and jeans. Barry and Derek are the advance team. 

Barry is quick to capture one of these men while Derek is being tracked by an axe-wielding simpleton who he destroys with his magnum. Based on the reaction the two have received upon arrival, Barry is certain these are not friendly aliens with glowing fingers but extra terrestrials who intend to end humanity. It is a good thing their action-loving team members Frank and Ozzy (Is this a Muppet joke?) are en route to this town.

With all this ruckus, a gang of these aliens mount a counter attack which results in Barry taking a fall that leaves him with a compound fracture of the skull. The team writes him off, but the persistence of Barry allows him to figure out ways to keep his brain matter in his cranium, but perhaps at the cost of his sanity. Unfortunately, our heroes cannot leave because a charity collector, Giles, had arrived before Frank and Ozzy could block the roads into town.

Giles is soon captured, so the boys are set on rescuing him. As they infiltrate the alien base, they discover what has happened to the town folk. The aliens represent Crum's Country Delights and they have decided that human beings will be the dish that will make them competitive in the intergalactic fast food market once again. Kaihoro maybe lost, but there is no way the AIDS team is going to let Lord Crum and his cronies introduce this new menu item to space car hops.

"Bad Taste" is a very cheap slash-stick comedy which is very amateur in nature, but successfully shows there is a great director behind it. Peter Jackson shot this film over four years on weekends and the New Zealand film board took notice of his dedication. The result is a great exercise in practical gore effects while being more amusing and easier for the squeamish to stand than the similar efforts of Sam Raimi's "Evil Dead".

This film was a passion project of Jackson who knew this feature just had to get made. He was going to give audiences a bad film though, so his clever direction allows us to forgive the features shortcomings. It is more than apparent that Jackson lacked the means to produce high art, but his short cuts allow the audience to be in on the joke that these cheats are.

Until the finale, the action starts as being a little too sloppy for its own good. It starts to feel long, but the once a chainsaw-wielding psychopath is introduced, it finds its groove and becomes a ball until the gory climax that was repeated in "Dead Alive" and was missing from all of his features after (I may need to rewatch "The Frighteners" and "Heavenly Creatures" to confirm the lack of rebirth sequences.). Darn PG-13 and its limitations.

Excellent gore, a John Carpenter styled soundtrack, and the sheer absurdness of "Bad Taste" make this feature a classic. The film becomes more polished as it moves along (probably because of the New Zealand government funding), so it feels like you are learning about film makings alongside the great auteur Peter Jackson. It also leaves you missing the gory beauty that he was producing, but would you trade it for "The Lord of the Rings Trilogy? With the sheer amount of false endings in "Return of the King", perhaps.

Ed Brubaker's Angel of Death: The Reason I Kept Renting Instead of Buying

Finally, directors are utilizing the ultimate kick ass chick, Zoe Bell.

For those who object to the dialogue (being unrealistic, "girls don't talk like that") in "Death Proof", they could still enjoy the film's FYR element of a real stunt woman being the lead character thus making the experience of sitting through the film's first half and "Planet Terror" a worthwhile one. In an industry that is more faddy than NFL offenses, it was only a matter of time for another director to try and capture what carried the last two acts of a Quentin Tarantino film. Sadly, "Angel of Death" did not have the means to capture all of Zoe Bell's awesomeness, but it's a start, and well worth my waiting for a month for it to enter the "5 Day" rental category.

Eve has been the best hit person for the Downes Family because she does not question the orders her agent gives her and she won't take time for regrets. This all changes when she takes a four inch blade into her skull. No seizures, no sever headaches, but she starts to experience hallucinations of her past assignments. To put an end to these demons, she is going to try and set all her wrong rights by stopping those who put the innocent at risk.

This maybe the nerd in me, but any film that features an awful demise to a Ted Raimi character is worth seeing. When will they start putting that on the box art? If anyone was considering renting "JCVD" before they saw "My Name is Bruce", the fact that they off two of his characters would change their mind.

"Ed Brubaker's Angel of Death" was the perfect script for an actress just starting her career. Memorize some dialogue. Show some visceral emotion. The performance should be golden. If you followed Marilyn Monroe's career, her scripts may have been simpler than that. The supporting cast is able to show their want for the project to work, and Bell's fight scenes are wonderful and adhere to the limitations of reality.

There is no "Wire Fu" and most importantly if follows this rule:

If a girl gets hit by the guy, the tide of the fight totally changes. So if you are the girl in an inter gender brawl, DON'T GET HIT!

If there is anything unrealistic about the film's fights, it is why do all these Italians have Japanese body guards? Japanese body guards who are proficient in Kung Fu. Of course, we accept the premise that one will survive taking a knife to the top of the skull, so we are best to ignore the comic book elements in Brubaker's script.

And when it comes to comic books, director Paul Etheridge is able to capture the feel of one like the 80's Hasbro Boy Toys cartoons did. The editing effects seem appropriate, and the color schemes seem like they are pulled out of a pulp fiction magazine. They seem tacky at times, and perhaps this film should have just been shot in black and white, but this is a film directed by an art department guru, so it is to be expected.

The main flaw of the direction is that it does not make the performers seem alive. This is what a live action motion comic would look like. If it wasn't for the fight scenes, Zoe Bell's starring role would have been wasted.

Ed Brubaker's Angel of Death is an adequate start to Zoe Bell's acting career which is worth seeing if you are a fan of the legend. The technical qualities can drag the picture down, but the intent to create a comic book like character is apparent, and the efforts by the crew can be appreciated.

If a director can capture the good things that Angel of Death did well along with the few good things about "Ultraviolet", we should get a great movie. Or set of movies. I guess Angel of Death shows me why I like Timur Bekmambetov films so much.

So if you cannot stand subtitles or Angelina Jolie and Common, Angel of Death might just be the film for you.

"Wild Card” and Jason Statham vs. William Goldman

Nick Wild is a tough guy with a heart of gold who claims his only goal is to get out of Las Vegas. If this was really a priority for him, why is he quick to refuse extra cash for being such a great guy? But what would the good people Vegas do without him though? Who is going to serve as bodyguard to the idealist young tech billionaires? More importantly, how else will the recently raped and beaten sex worker settle her score with an arrogant mafia son? There is so much to do, is there even a way for Nick to find time to gamble away his cash in the hopes of divine intervention that will send him to live out the rest of his days in the Mediterranean?

"Wild Card" is based on Goldman's novel "Heat" which was adapted into a Burt Reynolds's movie in the mid-80's. From all accounts, including Goldman's, that film was a disaster. It sounded like it was more of Reynolds's vanity project from what I read, so I will not be revisiting that feature.

Reynolds's personality seems too big for the Nick character. Every Burt character is Burt. Jason Statham plays the same character every film, but he does not go out of his way to let you know that he is the same character. He is also a legit action star, so he is more believable when things in any film get crazy. At least for Goldman, the casting presents a good template for him to work with.

The rest of the supporting cast in this film is great and despite it being sold as an action flick from a promotional standpoint, you start to wish this could be a mafia version of "The Princess Bride". Sadly, the film does not click. Every performer is on their game and there is some brilliant dialogue, but the studio does not know if the film should focus on the gambling elements or the action. It ends up feeling clunky and being only adequately directed does not cover that up.

If you are looking for an action movie, I think "Wild Card" will disappoint. If you are looking for a William Goldman film, you will get to see the glimpses of a couple good ones, but they do not make a great whole. Fortunately, this film is for the Jason Statham fans, so if you are one, this is a pleasant change of pace.

The Confused Project that Was Armitage III: The Motion Picture

While trying to archive other anime review from the Bus's Transit of Anime Realities, I discovered that I had also written an "Armitage III: Polymatrix" review for another website of mine AnimeFlow. The funny thing about this is that it is a counter to what I originally wrote. All I can say about this re-post is that it reads better, but to truly understand this anime, you might want to read the opposing side.

So, I'm schizophrenic. The good lord must want me to discover something new about my futile existence everyday just to prove his own. Jesus H Douche.

"Armitage III" was always a title I wanted to check out, but with so many other multi-video collections I was trying to complete, I didn't want to trouble myself with another one. So when I heard about the movie version, I was pretty sure I was going to buy it, and when I found out it featured the voices of Keifer Sutherland and Elizabeth Berkley that kind of sealed the deal.

Its great to see celebs trying to help bring this style of art to the main stream. This is the second anime feature length film I've ever bought, but I knew not to expect another "Akira", but this was pretty enjoyable despite it may seem at some points to be over done.

After finally viewing the original OVA series, some may appreciate the restraint the film had when compared to the material it was pieced together from. Then again it may just be an issue of preference. Do you want to dedicate days to the character over the top voice acting or not. Again, this is the fanboy in me wishing that anime DVD's were not released in complete sets, so that I could truly figure that out on my own terms if a series was worth continuing. Does disc one encourage me to buy disc two, or I have the movie, so I'll just put this disc on Half.com.

Of course, if you do not buy much anime and you just want to see this to see another Elizabeth character act like a slut ("Show Girls", "Any Given Sunday", Saved By the Bell type characters) you will be disappointed. This is not one of the reasons I bought the tape, but you some time wonder when is this Cop in hot pants is going to get naked.

Ross Sylibus has left the Chicago PD for the Martian PD after his partner was killed by a cyborg. He immediately gets involved in some traditional movie cop action with a shoot out at the space port where his new partner, Naomi Armitage, is trying to apprehend one of the flights passengers. During the shoot out the criminals suitcase opens and we find the dead body of the universe's only remaining country singer (^_^Yay^_^) Kelly McCannonen. After the suspect escapes, Armitage and Ross find out that the victim is a robot.

Just as Ross is settling in, the murderer, Rene D'amclaude pirates the TV signal to show a montage of the murders other female robots he's takes credit for and calls for a revolution of the "Thirds". With antirobot feelings on Mars, this man gets a lot of support, but the higher ups in the PD seemed to be more concerned with Armitage's drive to solve these cases?

The biggest flaw in the film is that it tries to cover too much in too little time. This is the same plot as the series, so the action has to be hurried. It would appear that there is little room left for the characters' emotions, but it is actually being loyal to the OVA. Some of the voice acting is pathetic, and Sutherland seems to try too hard, but Berkley does a great despite it being an overly whining lead character. This was probably the way the series and film stand behind a claim that the show is quite emotional.

Voice, body what else does Liz need? A decent agent.

The artwork and animation are great. Just looking at still shots and posters doesn't do the film justice since these drawing are beautiful in action. The plot does seem to have too many variables like how the Thirds can be impregnated. Confusion or a sense of over stimulation is all that creates. Despite all this, its extremely enjoyable without the addicting nature of the series.

Armitage III - Polymatrix is not addicting, its not excellent, but maybe the opium suppository for the anime fan with a budget. Just a hit to get you by.

"Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters": Alphabetical Viewing Is Flawed

How I did I miss out on the "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" movie until two years after its release? It may have been too early for Adult Swim to release a film. It was 2006/2007, and when you add the failure of Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino's "Grindhouse", the general public was not ready to enjoy the charm of low-budget projects.

Thanks Quentin for fucking up everything you worked so hard to display. "Inglourious Basterds" may have been a spaghetti western, but with the production values of the project, it will only take true fans to appreciate the low-brow goals. The masses are asses.

Unlike the "Grindhouse", with just its limited animation, no one understood why people would see it after it tanked in its opening weekend. The cartoon that was with me through my decline into total loserdom performed no better than a "Forbidden Dance" flick, so maybe I was just struck too hard by this.

To pour salt in this wound, I never saw this disc for less that $20, so I eventually sold myself into accepting that it may not have been for me. I cannot be the fan they were looking for since I would not fork over the same cash I could spend on a season box set. Perhaps I should have just come to terms that I may never see this film.

For the past month (2009), I had renting a lot of movies. And a fair share of them, no one should pick up. If I am going to claim that I am a better critic than the punks from "That Guy with the Glasses" and justify my demand for a variety of B-movies to be shown at the Peoria Theater, I must give every, "this maybe cool" title a chance. Since I am only in the A's at Morton's video store, what other options do I immediately have anyway. I just hope ATHFCMFFT does not ruin the last couple of seasons for me.

I am a Cubs fan, so I hold grudges, and I will be pissed if ATHF did not deserve anything after this film. After watching "Absolon", it is just too much of a hassle to find out who will give me four hours back.

Frylock is determined to find out where he came from. Meatwad wants to get laid. Master Shake wants to get buff. Carl's Insanoflex seems to hold all these answers, but obtaining them will be quite the task.

The Mechanized Ghost of Christmas, the Plutonians, and the Mooninites are trying to possess the powers of the demonic exercise equipment as well. Will the answers be found? Will good conquer evil? Or will there be pointless casualties and just pissed off survivors?

So...ATHFCMFFT clocks in at 87 minutes. That is a minute short of eight television episodes. It would have probably have been more worthwhile to take that approach instead of the original "Battlestar Galatica's" movie treatment. The premise should not have been stretched to a full-length feature.

The film is funny throughout, but with such limited characters and a weak story, maintaining interest in the humor is tough. ATHFCMFFT's script is just one liners, so the film is nothing more than a joke book, and only the bored (or drunk) will take the time to read this book cover-to-cover.

There are a few great bits of animation that deserve more than being wasted on an ATHF episode, but most are at the beginning of the movie. The lobby snack film parody should be played before every movie. ATHFCMFFT gets the viewer in a to a state where we are open to suggestion before it takes the date too far. Physically, you do not feel much, but the mental scars remain.

The minds behind "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" may not deserve this harsh criticism. They only made the mistake of forgetting that "Monty Python" did a sketch comedy feature before they gained the ambition to make their latter pictures.

"Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters" was just overly ambitious and suffers for that. No matter how many Rush members provide cameos, there is nothing that makes this film a must watch.

"4 Got 10": Once Upon a Time with Zero Whimsey

a.k.a. "The Good, the Bad and the Dead"

It is a lot of work, but you need to do a little research once you say to yourself, "This could be fun." If a film has two titles, skip it. This will require both IMDb and Wikipedia.

Back to a tale of Wasting of Danny Trejo:

It is obvious a drug deal has gone bad. A used car parking lot (if not a car lot, a lot with a Martin Luther King Blvd address) with a corpse for each bumper serves as an homage to the desert standard "No Country for Old Men" set. Adding title cards for each archetype is usually the indications of an action flick with clever ambitions. Unfortunately, there is no witty dialogue when the sheriff (Michael Pare) shoots his deputy to go James Brolin on us only to receive a life-threatening shot to the ear from an amnesiac survivor (Johnny "Eric Young should have best cast" Messner). To keep the audience thinking, director Timothy Woodard Jr (who seems to have taken inspiration stylistically from Uwe Boll) is going to use a twist for every scene.

The primary twist is not the amnesia gimmick, it is the fact that the dead deputy is the rebellious son of Mateo Perez (Danny Motherlov'n Trejo), the biggest drug dealer the DEA has ever known. Perez will be on a quest for vengeance, the sheriff is out to save his own neck, and Rooker (Lungren) is trying to put the pieces together. With so many supporting players, the clueless amnesiac is suppose to hold the film together. Too bad there is not the necessary nudity or action sequences to amuse us on his quest to regain his memory.

"4 Got 10" has a shorter plot synopsis than "Death Squad", so that means it will be less painful. If you can endure the first 70 minutes, where only three rounds are fired, you will be rewarded with "MST3K" worthy, slow-motion-dependent action sequences. You may never curse Zack Snyder again. #releasethesnydercut

Woodward must have been desperate to avoid this film from being labeled a short. The overuse of slo-mo is so bad that you can see the stuntman's flammable gel before he goes up in smoke while still holding his own in a fire fight. If the humor was more than Lundgren digging through a truck stop trash can, we could have had a so bad it is good film.

"4 Got 10" is evidence that all screenwriters should follow the page a minute rule. If Sean Ryan did this, there would have been no reward in sitting through this garbage. Hence, it would not have been made. With that said, try googling "Danny Trejo slow-mo gun fight" and you may receive the fruit of this labor without wasting so much time.

Perhaps "4 Got 10" is the Li'l Bub of bad movies. No, that is probably "The Beast of Hollow Mountain" which is part of Netflix's "Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Return." Netflix has you taken care of regardless.

12 Rounds 3: Lockdown (Apologies to Dean Ambrose)

There seems to be too many video games and too little time, but that may be due to my movie problem. I think I only have 50 or so unwatched features in my collection (excluding wrestling and TV series of course), but I am still taking any Red Box discount I can find and I am still receiving Netflix DVDs. It shows I am dedicated to this method of storytelling, thus making me deserving of feedback to help me out in finding a way to promote my B-movie pro-wrestling zomcom, Main Event of the Dead, I would happy to send you a treatment if you e-mail me at russthebus07@gmail.com.

If you need a little more support to warrant my claims of expertise, here is a review of the Dean Ambrose starring feature "12 Rounds 3: Lockdown," a flick that flows well and keeps it mind on its gimmick. WWE should focus on this style of film-making. It could lessen the need for my foray into Pro Wrestling Cinema.

John Shaw has finally returned to the narcotics department of the metropolitan police after seven months of psychological therapy. Early retirement may have been a wiser decision since his fellow officers hold him responsible for the death of a rookie which resulted in his leave. Too make matters worse, they are all celebrating his ex-partner, Roger Cross, successfully killing one of the top drug lords in town. Having the intuition about Cross that Foster of Super Troopers says all good cops have, Shaw suspects that there is more to meets the eye about the killing. When the medical examiner discovers a flash drive disguised as a credit card on the body of the drug kingpin, he will be the first to investigate it.

On the drive is evidence that proves Cross is the drug overlord of the metro, selling confiscated drugs to dealers and reaping the profits. As Shaw is about to deliver the evidence to the chief, Cross has found out that the information that will bring him down is in his rival's hands. With a few phone calls, this villain has his crew searching the police headquarters for Shaw. With the pull of a fire alarm, the station is on lockdown. Cross has all the surveillance at his beckon call, so Shaw has to survive with only his sidearm and 12 rounds of ammo (paraphrasing theactionelite.com).

"12 Rounds 3: Lockdown" is a "Die Hard" rip off. Dean Ambrose is a child of the 90's and that was probably his preferred Christmas flick. It is not his gimmick's favorite Festivus film, it is everyone boy born in the 80's. If this script was thrown your way, how could you turn it down? As an independent wrestler, I would like to try and out due the John Cena's and Randy Orton's franchise installments. Ambrose at least did as well as any untrained thespian should expect to, so the flick at least meets expectations.

It is not the best "Die Hard" rip off by any means. I would say "Under Siege 2: Dark Territory" is better, but since we do not need more Steven Seagal, I am going to direct you to this title first. A good "Die Hard" knock off needs to remember that a sense of humor is really what makes the original a classic. "12 Rounds 3" expects the action to be ridiculous enough to keep us involved, so three written jokes are all you are going to get.

What keeps you involved is the "not a metaphor" gimmick of this film. "12 Rounds" is not a game, it is literally all our hero can rely on. You are counting the bullets as Ambrose exhausts them, and you are amused trying to figure out how he is going to make it out of the building with so few. This probably would not work for Dirty Harry, keeping us up to date on how many rounds he had left, but everything is interesting once.

Only having 12 rounds to use allows for some ridiculous kills which at least makes the movie fun. This is pro-wrestling on film. You will suspend your disbelief to ignore why the crooked cops actually bring grenades into close quarters being monitored by police on the outside of the building.

Outside of the story, the technical aspects are as good as you can expect when the ceilings are only 10-feet high at best. It is not an effects heavy affair, so the only thing that should have been added would be some gore for the hell of it. The Soska Twins at least gave of glimpses of that to amuse us with their two WWE installments shot under similar circumstances, and one of them was not a horror film. WWE Films can be ECW, so bring on the blood.

"12 Rounds 3: Lockdown" is not the best WWE Studio's productions, but it is fun and more enticing than a three-hour "Raw." That is really all you should want out of this film. Well, maybe one name actor aside from your Superstar. Michael Jai White must have been who they wanted Cross to be portrayed by. If Steve Austin can get him on speed dial, what is WWE's problem?

Event Horizon - Inspiration for Gory Bastardized Remakes?

"Event Horizon" is a 1990's horror classic, but I do not even know if it is Anderson's best movie. The man operates from derivatives, so nothing is ever expected of him. But, he is the only director that you expect cool 3-D from, so there is at least a niche he is filling and thus some talent. This leaves me to ponder if that was even present with his first American non-established IP film.

In 2040, the experimental spacecraft Event Horizon traveled to the orbit of Neptune to test its gravity drive. The intention of this was to create a mini black hole that would suck space time in allowing the craft to travel to a different location instantaneously. But the intentions of the craft were not made public, so all anyone is suppose to know is that the ship was lost. So it is quite the surprise for Captain Miller and the crew of the Lewis and Clark to find out that they are suppose to salvage this craft and rescue the crew seven years later.

The crew arrives at the craft to find it in a seemingly state of deep freeze. At subzero temperatures, surely the crew is dead, but life form readings are detectable through out the ship. As the crew inspects the ship, one of them, Justin, tries to turn the power back on. When this occurs, he seems to be sucked into the gravity drive and the accompanying power surge cause a breach of the Clark's hull. To survive, the entire crew has to board the Event Horizon while they wait on repairs to the ship that got them there.

Justin is essentially spat out of the gravity drive in a catatonic state. His rescuer describes the incident to Miller, but his believability is immediately questioned by Dr. Weir. Weir is accompanying the Clark's crew since he was one of the scientist who designed the ship. Logic and physics are soon thrown out the window as other crew members, including Miller, start seeing what can only be considered hallucinations. Miller's lieutenant has a theory. This theory is that whatever the life readings are must be creating these experiences.

Once Justin awakens only to soon enter an air lock without a spacesuit to run from the darkness he saw, surviving becomes paramount to actually finding out what happened. Too bad Dr. Weir does not see it that way.

My synopsis for "Event Horizon" may have excluded the pitch for this feature: Spaceship returns from hell. With that said, going with a gothic horror approach to the premise is unique when you consider that the video game "Doom" is very similar. Horror was on a downturn in the mid 90's as we recovered from 80's slasher fatigue, so this was a brave 60 million dollar gamble on the "Mortal Kombat" director. The initial loss was 20 million, but after home release, it is surprising that there were not attempts to capitalize on the IP.

In the end, the movie ended up managing to be a hit in some form, and that tends to indicate great quality. That quality is provided by the cast and script. Anderson's direction is adequate, but there are not many set pieces that show his strengths when it comes to directing. If anything, it seems to me that the off-and-on auteur can only see in 3-D. I do not find this to be a weakness though when you take in to account how his "Resident Evil" franchise was able to have three additional sequels solely because of 3-D filmmaking's popularity. A 3-D re-release with some polished computer-generated effects would be worth telling streamers to bugger off.

I implied that the special effects are not great when it comes to the CG. They may have been great for the time, but like "Mortal Kombat", FDR/HDR does not do them any favor.

If there was one more flaw, it is the pacing. This is gothic horror on a spaceship which had been done before in the greater classic, "Alien". When you move from one scene to the next without anytime to revel in the horror of the situation, you are watching for the cool suggestive imagery of hell instead of being at the edge of your seat. This is primarily the reason that I am not going to declare this feature to be Anderson's best. I am leaning towards the first "Resident Evil".

"Silent Running": A Great Message in a Pre Space Opera World

Humans have given rabbits a run for their money in terms of breeding, but with a lack of suitable planets to colonize, how are they to come up with space for all of the people? Since deforestation never slowed down, clearing the world of vegetation and relying on synthetically constructed food, homo sapiens can survive on Earth indefinitely. It is even easier to be an Earthling because to keep up the means to create a comfortable 75-degree weather across the planet, everyone has a job. Humanity triumph over nature results in a comfort no one should reject.

Of course there was resistance to the idea of destroying all of the forests and encouraging mass extinctions in the name of progress. To address the naysayers, American Airlines Galactic Shipping have devoted a fleet of ships to maintain terrariums. Once the planet can allow for forestations, they will be transplanted back to Earth.

Be it the bottom line or just a dead soil, it is eventually determined that it is just too much work to maintain these galactic forests. The crews of these ships for the most part seem to agree, and they welcome the opportunity to nuke them all and head back home. Only one person thinks differently and determines that the beauty of nature must live on at any cost. This person is Freeman Lowell.

Lowell makes the rash decision to kill his fellow crewmates and make a run for the outer reaches of the solar system. Faking an accident to allow him to take this adventure on, he determines the vastness of space will prevent search parties and any chance for humans to finish the job of eliminating anything that is wild. The question is, can one man and a set of drone robots maintain the best parts of Earth, let alone Freeman's sanity?

"Silent Running" is a beautifully shot film with a lead character who is explored extremely well for a feature with a 89-minute runtime. For a viewer like me who has only seen Bruce Dern portray cranky, borderline evil old men, it was quite refreshing to see him portray a character that we sympathize with. But, if you want that cranky nature, he is still portraying someone who wants you to stay off his grass.

The set design and outer space scenes look marvelous. It made me wonder why it took Hollywood another five years before we got "Star Wars". I would dare say the special effects still hold up to George Lucas's original trilogy's standards. This film was from a time where science fiction was primarily there to teach us,  and with the Joan Baez soundtrack, you could not justify that this space film to warrant dog fights.

There only being one character to focus on and relate to, the film does not need extra special effect sequences. You see Lowell as a crusader who knows there is no going back to what he was suppose to be. The film is about him accepting that and how we need to be more willing to prevent a so called dystopia/utopia that require no effort. Its story nearly pulls at every emotion, and you leave feeling exhilarated going on such a thorough and brief journey.

I have long needed to give "Logan's Run" a thorough rewatch. "Silent Running" left me feeling like I had just watched the most important pre-"Star Wars" science fiction feature of the 1970's. To go and claim that it is without rewatching "Run" would be irresponsible.

I thought this would give me a reason to also rewatch "Rollerball", but their is a sense of that feature being grounded in a more relatable reality. Douglass Trumbull's directorial debut takes you to another world that you are glad to visit and hope will never become a reality. Who does not want to chase someone down in roller skates to knock them out with a studded glove? I can live with corporations ruling everything. I cannot live without trees.

2001 Maniacs: Setting Back Southern Relations...in an Ideal Way

Roger Ebert is not on television anymore, so the only film expert (in 2010) I consistently follow is Chris Gore. He is Ebert-like in ways when it comes to inexplicable taste. How Ebert applauded the "Lara Croft" films, Gore is willing to show respect to the obscene.

Nothing wrong with the obscene, but it places you in the niche critic genre. As long as the Criterion Collection exists, your expert title may be inappropriate if you are recommending "Suicide Girls Must Die (which I did follow up on and was not disappointed.)." With that title, I wonder who is the real expert is, Gore or I.

But, when you are trying to find one hundred DVD rentals to critique (This review's draft was written in 2010.), you need some guidance. With a recommendation of the 2010 release "2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams", surely the prior film had to be worthwhile enough to warrant a sequel. Let us hope that sequel was not director Tim Sullivan's "Evil Dead 2" (A remake of the original meant to surpass it).

Tecumseh Sherman's devastation of the South have left generations of bitterness toward all Yankees. In Georgia, the town of Pleasant Valley seems to be the only folk who tolerate and even celebrate Northerners. So when eight spring breakers end up taking a detour into this town, they cannot resist the near royal treatment. They are to be the guests of honor at the Guts and Glory Festival. The townsfolk insist that stay till the barbecue finale, but one-by-one, the kids go missing, leaving them to wonder what their role truly is.

"2001 Maniacs" is a simple slasher with a decent sense of humor, but may have had too much budget for its own good. It would have had a little more charm as a z-budget feature, but with Robert Englund's Freddy Krueger obligations being done, I can see the wisdom in paying him the extra dough for name recognition.

There are some murders that require the extra finances, but this is not suppose to be a "great" film. I would have loved cheap effects and regular people (amateur actors) carrying this script. The script is something the viewer cannot claim to be high brow. Its pacing has some hiccups, but it is smart enough on how to make a generic story worthwhile, and makes sure every decadent thing needed for a gore-based comedy is present.

It is also encouraging that the film pulls no punches on the Southern stereotypes. The gore is great, but what may be truly offensive is how far they go in bad mouthing red necks. Fortunately, this film is clever enough to effectively use it as story elements.

These notes were originally written 11 years ago, so I had not seen "Tucker and Dale vs Evil". With that said, I did see the obnoxious "2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams", so maybe my conclusion is still valid.

Finding a smart horror movie about rednecks can be a task, but "2001 Maniacs" fits that bill. This low-budget feature maybe a bit too glossy for its own good, but its spirit remains intact. It is a gem for an insensitive, liberal gore hound.

"Absolon" and "The Ballad of Vinnie Jones"

I guess there are films that feature Vinnie Jones that I do not want to see. This is my latest discovery thanks to a month (Summer 2009) of trying to dedicate more time to renting instead of buying DVDs.

"Bog Body (Legend of the Bog)" seems to be too Syfy Original for my taste (With a pre-WWE Sheamus in the film, I thought it was a fair assumption. It was not that ridiculous), and "Strike" starring Tara Reid must be wretched. You cannot bill Reid and expect a film to work. It only took E! one season to figure that out. The point is, unlike "X-Men: The Last Stand", "Hell Ride" and "Smokin' Aces 2: Assassins Ball", Vinnie's presence has no chance of making these films worthwhile.

The lack of any Vinnie-tastic flair in the new releases leaves me going through the two-for-one dollar section at Family Video to find something interesting. Who knew Christopher Lambert has a movie that started with the Letter A? Sorry, I must have blocked "Adrenalin" from my mind. Come on. I cannot be the only one to think the "Species" chick was going to have a career outside of the series?

I still approach "Absolon" with some discretion. Lou Diamond Philips is no Ice Tea (Albert Pyun's "Mean Guns") and Canadian sci-fi is always an iffy investment (David Cronenberg's "Shivers" and "The Brood", regardless of opinion, can attest to that statement.) All it took was the director of my favorite Bond film, (and nudity from that film's Bond girl) to buy a 25 cent VHS copy of "Point Men" starring Lambert. That investment worked out, so I should have a little fate in the premier "Highlander".

And, you cannot say no to Ron Perlman. I have tried.

I did end up renting "Hellboy II: The Golden Army" and I sat through "Rats" on USA. You cannot mock those decisons if you are patient with Bruce Campbell, so how can this decision backfire? Christopher Lambert plus another above Bruce-lister should equal cinematic joy. "Absolon" fits the equation and fifty cents seemed like a fair price.

In 2010 (take that 2012), a virus wiped out five billion people and led to the collapse of all the economies around the world. No cure for NDS (neural degeneration syndrome) could be found, but a drug called Absolon was developed which would allow for individuals to live a normal life with the disease.

Absolon also led to a currency to revive economies. People are paid in time. If one runs out of time, they no longer get the drug, so poverty becomes a death sentence.

The man who discovered NDS and Absolon was murdered and his research stolen. Det. Scott (Lambert) is assigned the case. When he discovers that the victim had found a cure for the virus, he becomes the target of the World Justice Department. To make matters worse, the victim's lab assistant had inoculated him with the first half of the cure's formula. If he wants to save himself, and the world, he must find the other half of the cure in the next three days.

Writer Brad Mirman has had some good ideas, but they are not enough to produce a great final project. It seems a bit criminal that his final drafts get put on film. I say that because the scripts for "Absolon" and two other Christopher Lambert films he wrote could make for some great B-movies.

With the frequency of bad flicks, it seems like we cannot hold the music video director who take on his projects back. Mirman may just be trying to give them a break into a new format. This is a pretty scary concept. To believe there is someone out there who wonders, "What would Russell McCauly do?", I would prefer not.

And when I said some good ideas earlier, that means a premise for a film. After that, his desperation attacks all five senses with poor attempts at plot twists and ripping off lines from other Lambert films in an effort to get his trademarked laughs in to the script to make up for the lack of any effort to lighten the mood.

Speaking of ripping off Lambert's "Highlander" legacy, Director David Barto grabs a fight scene from one of them. That fight scene is the elderly McLeod versus the punks from "Highlander 2". To his credit, he knew how to recreate it on the cheap. Until the climatic one-on-one battle with Lou Diamond Phillips, that is the complaint one can have with the direction. This serves as an indication that Barto does not have the patience to direct a film since his background is storyboard artistry.

I might have to pop "Blade II" into the DVD player before I can say he was not trying. The disc may have some of his boards hidden with the bonus material. It would distress me to find out that he is not into delivering detail to his work. But when the future only means fluorescent hair highlights for the girls in "Absolon", why would we think otherwise.

As for the direction of the climax, it only seems that he was so focused on showing us how very small elements will determine the outcome, and thus loses track of the simple punch, punch, trip, nut shot action. If we had learned anything from the days of 80's action, continuity can be ignored for the sake of enjoyment.

If there is one thing that is good about "Absolon" is that the script does not challenge any of the actors. Phillips can be the hip Chicano, Perlman can be the just pick one of his memorable roles of the oughts (Hellboy, Reinhardt from "Blade II", his sniper from "Enemy at the Gate") and not even put in a whole day on set, and Lambert is Lambert.

The only person who has difficulty with their role is Kelly Brook as the English Dr. Claire Whittaker. It may have been that she was too young for the role (i.e. Denise Richards as Christmas Jones in "007: The World is Not Enough"), but she does not deliver any dialogue with conviction. Just because Ron, Chris and Lou do not have to, does not mean you are excused.

Then, she did have to do a love scene with a man she is half the age of. This was when I finally got pissed at the rental. You got to be at least an A-lister to get away with that. Sorry Christopher, I got to finally call bullshit.

"Absolon lacks the heart and script to overcome its disease. Christopher Lambert and Ron Perlman did not let me down with their efforts, just their decision making. That goes for anyone who decided to drag something out of a script that is only as good as its outline.