@HDTGM Pandering: Rollerball (2002), Jason Statham's Blitz + ThePoeticCritic

So "⁠Ninety For Chill⁠" is addressing the ⁠Chris Klein⁠-led "⁠Rollerball⁠" remake. This obviously means the past couple of weeks have been a comedy of errors for ⁠CatBusRuss⁠. These faults include: car issues, difficulty finding guests for the show and balancing them with his dating life, and enduring another "far right" kick.

Comedy is the key term in that paragraph. The "⁠How Did This Get Made⁠" movie podcast will be covering ⁠John McTiernan⁠'s "Rollerball" on Friday, January 26, 2024. To get the most out of this, our host is doing his homework.

To further be on the same page as the ⁠HDTGM⁠ crew, ⁠CatBus⁠ went into his vaults to review "⁠Blitz⁠". This British police procedural stars patron saint of ⁠Paul Scheer⁠, ⁠Jason Mantzoukas⁠, and ⁠June Diane Raphael⁠'s podcast, ⁠Jason Statham⁠. In other words, ⁠Russ⁠ could not manage the time to see the latest Statham action flick, "⁠The Beekeeper⁠". Nothing seems to be working out for the overworked podcaster.

To further emphasize the difficulties Russ has been having, he did have another chat about the state of cinema with ⁠ThePoeticCritic⁠. Too bad the mics were not set up ideally. But the audio can be heard with a bit of static, so it maybe worthwhile to stick through this week's featured reviews.

After two movies reviews and forty minutes of chatter, you also get to further participate in the burial of Chris Jericho. CatBus may need to get through the "Terrifier" franchise to be fair to The Ocho, but after "⁠Albino Farm⁠", he is left thinking that Y2J may not be able to provide any positive contributions outside of the ring.

#RewindWednesday: The Lost Boys with @CouchManBakes

As always noted on "⁠Ninety For Chill: The Podcast with CatBusRuss⁠", you maybe able to get a clue of what a future episode maybe about if you follow the host's Letterboxd. If that would take up too much time, then let this conversation with ⁠Andrew "CouchManBakes" Tiede⁠ about a classic vampire movie allow you to offer a prediction for February's first podcast.

⁠Andrew Tiede⁠ and ⁠CatBusRuss⁠ investigate what maybe the spiritual sequel to "The Goonies", ⁠Joel Schumacher's "The Lost Boys"⁠. With this rewatch, our host was actually intrigued by ⁠ThePoeticCritic's⁠ opinion that this feature is nothing more than rose...should we say...blood-tinted nostalgia. Thankfully, this week's guest reminded CatBus the national treasure that is Timmy Cappello. These two eighties kids always have a ball watching this vampire feature, and throw in their parallel paths to their forties, we get some fun Cubs and wrestling themed tangents to accompany the blood sucking fun.

From Dusk Till...Marathon with @CouchManBakes

Andrew "CouchManBakes" Tiede⁠ makes his 2024 return to "Ninety For Chill", and once again, the feature that he wanted to chat about was just over 100 minutes long. The feature is the ⁠Robert Rodriguez⁠ directed (and ⁠Quentin Tarantino⁠ co-penned) "⁠From Dusk Till Dawn⁠". This of course means that to cover this feature, ⁠CouchMan⁠ and ⁠CatBusRuss⁠ must partake in a marathon.

For the most part, Rodriguez's movies have fairly tight runtimes, so our host should have had no difficulty coming up with a movie marathon dedicated to El Rey. Well, the Tex-Mex tinged James Bond tribute "⁠Machete Kills⁠" was just a couple of minutes too long. To assure that we still have a ⁠Danny Trejo⁠ triple feature before Midnight's main event, ⁠Russ⁠ chose to open the festivities with the Tarantino/Rodriguez produced, ⁠Robert Patrick⁠-led, vampire-themed bank heist flick, "⁠From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money⁠". To justify skipping "Machete", The Six Raven Movie House still programmed the original trailer with the first feature of 2007's ⁠"Grindhouse"⁠, "⁠Planet Terror⁠".

Andrew has yet to program a quadruple feature for his Sasquatch Cinema House, and the trend continues. Unlike the prior marathon (⁠The Marathon: Child's Play, Wraiths, and Other THINGs⁠), he skipped trying to find three sub 100-minute movies and just chose bangers from Rodriguez's filmography. These are the third "El Mariachi" tale, "⁠Once Upon a Time in Mexico⁠" and his collaboration with comic book legend ⁠Frank Miller⁠, "⁠Sin City⁠".

On paper, this could be a contentious podcast. We have Amber Heard versus Johnny Depp after all. If Andrew's triple feature was not enough, his cinema has just become 420 friendly. Surely it is better to go to the Russ's theater that now features an arcade for the kids? Of course, the two cannot get too heated once their shared love for "⁠Lucha Underground⁠" is discussed.

@BFest 2024 & ThePoeticCritic

For the first time since CatBusRuss started making the annual trip to Evanston, ThePoeticCritic accompanied her little brother to B-Fest. It is a celebration of “The Best of the Worst” in motion pictures. That is a bit of hyperbole, and the two siblings will try to support that claim with there recap of the events. B-Fest at least met our host’s expectations. Bad musicals (The Apple), some deep hurting (She-Devils on Wheels), kaiju (Tammy and the T-Rex), and roller skates (The Monkey Hustle). If only there was some classic action, but we will let the elder sibling speak on that (Runaway).

#RewindWednesday: Buckaroo Banzai vs. ThePoeticCritic

Jeff Goldblum maybe ⁠NinetyForChill's⁠ "In case of fire, break glass" metaphor. It is an easy means to bring ⁠ThePoeticCritic⁠ back on the show to discuss a classic sci-fi feature. (With Jim Carrey's rubberface, we would be consider that to be syfy.) The guy who was the blue alien may draw TPC out, but Peter Weller seems to have an ability to capture ⁠CatBusRuss's⁠ attention. Throw in some Clancy Brown, and he will be there. Needless to say, our host has the Shout! Factory's Steelbook of 1984's "⁠The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension⁠", an underappreciated blueprint of how all comic book movies should operate.

"Coraline" in 12 Parsecs with HappyBeebsMeowMeow

It is never too late to start the New Year. Some people hope to just get out of their comfort zone. That is the goal of Brandy Stonum, or should we call her ⁠HappyBeebsMeowMeow⁠.

With a Twitch handle like that, watching a movie where a feline plays a big role seemed perfect. So ⁠CatBusRuss⁠ was able to bend the rules of the podcast a bit, ⁠Han Solo style⁠, and allowed ⁠Henry Selick⁠'s ⁠Neil Gaiman⁠ adaptation, "⁠Coraline⁠", be the focus of the show.

⁠CatBusRuss⁠ has been trying to get one of his best Champaign/Urbana pals onto the podcast since about the inception of the show. The two chat about and have watched movies in each other's company over the past couple of years, so he thought content would come naturally. Our host thought the biggest issue was just finding a movie to fit the parameters of the pod, but people can just be nervous about putting themselves out there.

This was probably true of ⁠Russ⁠ until he had to cut his first wrestling promo. There were just too many quiet goth wrestlers in Peoria. Creating a character was the only in he had.

Brandy is a few weeks from bringing her Twitch channel online, so like our film's protagonist, she has to make the online world in her image and not have it handed to her. Hopefully, we can get her back on the podcast once her channel goes live, but until then, lets revel in her cinematic intelligence and patience when it comes to dealing with the ⁠CatBus⁠.

Super Mario Bros. 93 with Ta2Squid

If it is a movie adapted from a video game, you may lure out the ⁠Ta2Squid⁠. ⁠CatBusRuss⁠ welcomes a returning ⁠Andras Bodolai⁠ to ⁠Ninety For Chill: The Podcast⁠ for a chat about what is essentially the first attempt at bringing characters from a home gaming console to the big screen, "⁠Super Mario Bros. (1993)⁠".

Our host's first conversation with his fellow podcaster was about 2005's "⁠Doom⁠". Like the ⁠John Leguizamo⁠ and ⁠Bob Hoskins⁠ led movie, most do not remember that feature fondly (if at all as displayed by Kollin from the ⁠Trash Panda Podcast⁠). But, there has not been a reclamation effort for the Dwayne Johnson film. Maybe more time needs to pass. Give it 30 years (and a billion-dollar animated feature), and Karl Urban's Doom Slayer might get his proper due.

Russ thinks a narrative might still hold the Martian-based movie back. It would not have even needed a sane one because what ⁠Dennis Hopper⁠ movies do?

⁠CatBus⁠ and his guest discuss how this may have been a bad adaptation of the source material, but a fun mind shag of movie that walked so "⁠Mortal Kombat⁠" could kick ass. This ⁠Screen Drafts⁠ Marquee of Fame entrant maybe a flawed masterpiece. The direction is lacking, but this is a movie that has a crazy enough story and charming enough characters that it may have been a decade too late for when the audience would have ate this flick up. And/or, it was a decade too early which prevented meta-obsessed fanatics from appreciating it.

It definitely needs more attention since this is only the first round of the Leguizamo v. Hopper battle. Hit CatBusRuss on social media if you would like to discuss George A. Romero's "⁠Land of the Dead⁠".

If you find this episode interesting (despite the technical issues...and a "⁠Ghostbusters (2016)⁠" review), we hope you still have a DVD player because that is the only legal way to watch this underappreciated film.

Gregory Carl (#Critic) & "The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane" (#Film)

If there is a master of spotting subtle horror on Shudder, it is ⁠Gregory Carl⁠. This week he suggested a film that has a horror-worthy premise with "⁠The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane⁠" featuring a 14 year-old ⁠Jodie Foster⁠. It is a feature that turns the seemingly defenseless adolescent premise on its head while maintaining all that 1970s creepiness in all its glory.

The Princess Bride vs. HappyBeebsMeowMeow

HappyBeebsMeowMeow⁠ (or just Beebs) returns to the podcast to discuss another one of her favorite movies, "⁠The Princess Bride⁠". A movie with ⁠Christopher Guest⁠ and Andre the Giant, how could ⁠CatBusRuss⁠⁠ resist?

Ninety For Chill's guest said this was a feature that she knew so well, that she did not require a rewatch. To make sure everyone was in the right headspace, ⁠CatBusRuss⁠ had the feature running as the two discussed this classic comedy. After the two gush over the brilliance of ⁠Rob Reiner⁠'s second classic (Russ has not seen "Stand By Me" or "The Sure Thing", but both fit the runtime parameters of the podcast.) they essentially enjoy a virtual viewing of the film. Please do not judge our host too harshly for his attempts to do the dialogue justice.

Russ and Beebs do their best to really understand the genius of this family classic. As ⁠Joel Siegel⁠ stated, "This is Walt Disney meets Monty Python". That is short changing the efforts of the son of ⁠Mel Brooks⁠'s original comedy partner, ⁠Carl Reiner⁠. "The Princess Bride" is Mel Brooks's humor meets ⁠William Goldman⁠'s understanding of what makes a perfect screenplay. If Rob Reiner had more features under his belt when he directed this, he may have had the skill to make the best film of all time. The more Russ has seen it, the better it gets. Does Beebs agree?

Before I Go to Sleep (2014)

CatBusRuss reviews a Ridley Scott-produced Nicole Kidman vehicle from 2014. It is safe to say that this is under seen which is a shame when you also have Colin Firth and Mark Strong in the cast.

We are probably all familiar with the Adam Sandler/Drew Barrymore movie "50 First Dates". Kidman's character is suffering from a similar dilemma to Barrymore (being unable to recall anything after falling asleep). Her husband (Firth) thinks it is best to just isolate her since she cannot create any memories, but a neuroscientist (Strong) is hopeful that he can restore her memory. Or, at the very least, solve the mystery of who attacked her and left her in this state.

Bit - Bite Club Is the Fight Club the Ladies Needed

“Bit” is a fine indie film about modern vampire and how beneficial to society they can be. The feminist values make this a film that should be heralded even higher and taking the time to acknowledge the Stoker mythology makes it a great addition to the genre.

There are some lulls when it comes to providing a backstory about how this Los Angeles coven came to be, but the tale about growing up keeps the audience involved along with the issues with the patriarchy that is wants to address. The low key nature is charming but may turn off traditional horror fans. This is an intelligent comedy first and foremost, but it provides enough blood and drama to keep anyone amused.

Assassination of a High School President: Because there wasn't enough jail bait in "The Usual Suspects"

The 2008 Sundance Film Festival hit, "Assassination of a High School President" wide release was prevented due to its own ambitions. Not having the finances to be distributed on the big screen, DVD has now allowed audiences to see what would be considered the “Heathers” of this generation.Finally, there is a film that allows all of us to forget about the mockery that the "High School Musical" trilogy made of the first truly turbulent time in all of our lives.

90 Minute Netflix DVD: "Armed Response" or The Turd Seth Cannot Polish

It is a tough stretch for me. By the end of this Saturday shift, I will be half way between my work, best be sleeping, work schedule. I will get a day off before I am back at work, and then it is doing my best to treat my girlfriend for her birthday in Chicago. Only frustrating thing about that is that I will not be able to get my finer clothes washed by my folks since I will be exhausted come Tuesday. My ability to "best be sleeping" is rather poor.

Tonight, I should not have an excuse to avoid bed. Cold fried chicken awaits me (too bad throwing peppers on top of a sauce makes atomic wings from Wingstop nearly inedible, hence more cooking to be done) at home and my "Fucking Brilliant" journal is at least in the car. My streak of movie reviews will continue, provided I remember to take it from the car to the desk. Because of this, "Last Week Tonight" should be the only programming I need (Why did last night's episode of Comedy.tv have to to feature Maria Bamford? I needed sleep). There should be no need for me to access Amazon Prime to watch an 80's horror movie.

I do fear my satire is falling to the wayside by doing this movie catch up. It makes me reminisce of my second trip through Illinois Central College. Give me due dates, and I will deliver something to be defanged by the competent editor. My righteous butt appreciated the awareness during the second half of my time at ICC's newspaper, The Harbinger, but it was fun putting the reputation of the paper on the line with pro-steroid pieces.

Steroids, that is probably a good spot to stop tonight. Dolph Ludgren, Michael Jai White, Danny Trejo; these are all stars in the journal. The only other thing on my mind is how The Wrestling Compadres may have managed to prevent me from cancelling them for another month. Praise the "Tom Magee" documentary on the WWE Network while bad mouthing me for not wanting to watch a booking turd like "Money in the Bank" inspires to me to want to engage in their tit for tat, despite the number of times I have been edited for their own su-su-su-su-spect devices. Thrice, pro-feminism views had been cut.

All these movie reviews I am teasing have wrestling parallels, so I should stick to the transition, but when I think about all the times I have been edited, it makes me wonder if I should just try to podcast. My stuff looks good written, but how does it work for the audiophiles? Anchor (thanks for the tip Spotify) says it is easier than ever to find out.

Podcasting does seem to be about talking in circles, so my writing should be fine. At least I know it is better than that in..."Armed Response," the WWE film where I regret giving Seth Rollins 90 minutes to shine a turd, hence why I will not let his A.J. Styles's match inspire me to watch twice the poor writing to get to.

Armed Response: Working the Broom the Match

When WWE says they want to attach you to a film, you will not get to offer a negative response. From a certain legitimate podcast ("The Art of Wrestling: Thanksgiving 2014"), it seems that you just say, "Thanks for the time off." Pretend that making a film is like the TV format, celebrate the lack of bumps and hope you do not have to do the favor for Anne Heche. Insist that the sentient, telepathic prison scores the fall. This is the Gene Simmons produced "Armed Response."

Still recovering from letting go of his daughter's bike too soon during a lesson adjacent a highway, Gabriel (TV's Dave Annable) is called back to action by his former army comrades Isaac (Wesley Snipes) and Riley (Anne Heche) to investigate why they lost contact with a high tech black ops prison called a Temple. The crew that was facilitating this were also brothers-in-arms that they served with in Afghanistan. Since Gabriel designed this complex, he is obligated to find some answers.

Can we get a movie where the site is not full of mangled corpes? These mysterious events probably happen all the time, but it is usually a router problem. Hence, we do not hear about it, so we can not presume any other movie cliches.

Temples are an over-sized interrogation system that can measure body chemistry to determine the correct answers of its prisoners. The goal is to avoid the need for torture. But everyone wants to torture someone, and it seems that is no different when it comes to the Temple itself. Everyone in the Temple have their sins, and this house of truth will administer punishment, technology, physics, and chemistry be damned. If you break laws, so will it.

Viewing "Armed Response" was not that painful for me. I was watching this flick hoping it would allow fellow Danny Daniels disciple Seth Rollins a retirement plan, so focus was skewed. Upon reviewing my memories, this is the worst WWE Studios's film to date (at least when featuring WWE talent).

Director John Stockwell had a hell of a 2016. "Countdown" was a great B-movie and "Kickboxer: Vengeance" was better than the original Van Damme film. I suppose WWE thought he was talented enough to make a flick with nothing but past their prime stars and an empty building. This film shows that he is not the Soska Twins (check out my "See No Evil 2" review).

And this incomprehensible script further pisses me off since I cannot get anyone to request a treatment of "Main Event of the Dead." Feel free to email me at russthebus07@gmail.com.

It is called an Intellectual Property. You must have intelligence in your story to earn that distinction. If you do not, you make anyone who lacks tax issues dumber for working on this. No wonder Rollins said yes to Shield reunions instead of taking his ball and running to off to another promotion.

The next worse WWE flick is the Soskas's "Vendetta", but it is light years better than this. It was Dean Cain versus the Big Show. That film gave us something to care about. "Armed Response" is a ghost story without any ghosts. Ghost are supernatural. Computers are not.

Annable is not a star, so it is nothing versus nothing. Snipes and Rollins are the undercard, so there is nobody who can get you invested in this flick. Maybe if the film explained how parallel prison walls can rip limbs from someone, disbelief can be blissfully suspended.

The WWE producers of "Armed Response" should be sued for defaming Stamford's name. If a story makes less sense than Doctor Chris Amann's lawsuit against the Second City Saints, it should not have been green lit regardless of what an idiot from Kiss says.

90 min. Redbox: "Arena": Can Samuel L. Jackson Save a Title Timur Dropped?

Thank you Redbox for so many promo codes (This review was written in 2011. Why so stingy now?). Netflix (DVD) may have had "Arena" (2011) in stock, but with the vast library of suggestions, who knows if I would have come across such a ridiculous feature.

I am familiar with two other films called "(The) Arena". The premise is pretty much the same for each one. They are tales of a person's survival through brutal one-on-one combat. The 1989 (brilliant) low-budget take is about a human fighting aliens and the 2001 use of the title was Timur Bekmambetov's international debut about female Roman gladiators, and after further investigating I found that was a remake of a Roger Corman B-movie from 1974 of the same name. With this history  lacking luster (or lack of interest), how can Sony believe this can possibly be a made-for-DVD gem?

Pick Your Three Words: Samuel L. Jackson or Sam "Motherfuck'n" Jackson. Sony proves that I am not the only one to believe there is no such thing as a bad feature from this legendary performer. With the amount that he works, it makes me wonder why there have been any bad movies since 1988.

David Lord has a death wish after losing his pregnant wife in a bizarre traffic collision, (An accident implies no one was at fault.) so he decides to head to Mexico for an endless bender with a $100 bill his only form of currency. If he was not an ex-marine, rugby-playing firefighter, his desired fate would not have any trouble finding him. Ironically, this skill set will not allow him a quick demise.

After being seduced by the mysterious Milla, he is kidnapped by Kaden the Executioner to become the latest warrior for an online TV show called "Death Games" where modern gladiators compete in bouts that are nearly guaranteed to end with at least one fatality. The only problem with his "recruitment" to this underground "sport" is that he has nothing left to fight for. Certain that no one can continue to survive the Arena, the arrogant BMF producer Logan has come up with a means to motivate David.

If David wins 10 fights, he can go free. That is probably the only way he will get a chance to kill Kaden and Logan, so it is not a tough decision to become the most badass meme on the worldwide web.

I was still skeptical about renting "Arena" because for an actor like Jackson who has starred in so much, but avoid made-for-video, it just felt sad to see him make his DVD debut. Fortunately, Sam knows what the market's viewers want and the creative team behind "Arena" is more than willing to accommodate his scene chewing.

Graphic violence and abundant female nudity appeals to minimalistic B-Movie fans, so the subpar acting is easily overlooked. The action sequences are not much to write home about, at least in terms of the action, but the deathmatch concepts they introduce are amusing enough to ignore the other shortcomings. The fights are like "Mortal Kombat" levels. As long as there is a pit to drop the opponent into, clunky combat is forgivable. If these masterful compensations are not enough to amuse you, the sophomoric references to modern classics at least argue that the effort should be appreciated.

How this film still wound up costing $10 million to produce is beyond me. It did not go to the box art.

The low-budget style, clever effects and corner cutting make "Arena" a fun film to experience. I suspect $9 million went to Samuel L. Jackson, and I am comfortable with that. Thank you Sony for giving the most prolific American actor a lifetime achievement award attached to a good, quick flick.

Pluto TV: "Arena" Missteps to the Best Mono-Y-Mono Flick of 1989?

As a guy who went to "Mystery Science Theater 3000 Live" and has a Tom Servo tattoo, I was definitely familiar with "Starcrash", so HDTGM had me for at least a couple of weeks. It should have been three when they announced "Friday the 13th: Part 6 - Jason Lives", since Paul Scheer said it was on Amazon Prime. They must have watched it on that before October because Bezos knows you can sell anything horror related in October. At least to everyone but me.

A Voorhees romp is something I presumed my girl would not want to watch, so I was waiting for her to go to bed (12:00 am). I had forgotten to check out iTunes deals for the week, so I did not make it to check out Prime Video until 12:30. The time was not too late since the flick would fit this website's time restraints, so everything seemed to be going well. Six hours of sleep would be enough.

Then I found out the lack of free Jason flicks. Being stubborn, I was going to check out every subscription service to see if it was available for free. It was not, but I need content, and Pluto TV was the last place I landed on. Surely a cult flick would come through to me, and I have yet to watch a "Man versus Monster" tourney flick. I know, ironic because my first completed script is a zombie versus pro-wrestling comedy, "Main Event of the Dead". (If you want a treatment of the story, email me russthebus07@gmail.com).

Empire Pictures's "Arena" from 1989 would take that experience would leave me the wiser B-Movie maker. As for the film as a narrative, would it be a classic like "Re-Animator" or unbearable like "Trancers"? There is no middle when it comes to a Charles Band production.

As I look at this distributor's Wikipedia page, "Robot Jox" was the last film in their filmography. If their Lovecraft adaptations was not enough to warrant respect, pioneering replacing "ck" with "x", a 90's to early 00' standard, should.

Out in deep space, a space station serves as the center of entertainment for the entire universe. This satellite holds The Arena, the greatest combat sports venue ever devised. Or at least it was that before the gangster/promoter Rogor took over. He holds more power than the leagues commissioner and using his illicit ties can determine nearly every outcome. This has lead to no humanoid being able to climb the ranks for the past 50 years and dashing the dreams of any earthling, like Steve Armstrong.

Armstrong has been barely surviving on the station. He arrived there with asperations on becoming a champion, but he soon realized that the sport is just a business. His goal is now to just scrape up enough cash to get a ticket home. Sadly, his temper does not allow him to be a great short order cook, and as a result, he ends up injuring a fighter, Vang, from the Quinn Camp, the only stable fighting the uphill battle against Rogor.

This ends up being a blessing in disguise for Quinn since she needs a new fighter, and the fans have been yearning to see a non-monster in the ring. With debts to pay, Armstrong really has no choice but to return to the ring, but it is not long before he is ready to embrace his destiny. But will destiny be enough to top Rogor's influence?

"Arena" is definitely a movie that should not be watched in a clean or sober state. That is a good place to start because that means it is watchable, and I may be encouraging you to watch. And the influences that should be applied are not because of a bad story, but because it completely comprised of knock or "Star Wars" masks and poor make up that dare not interfere with actors hairlines.

The acting for the late 80's is passable. If anything hinders the dialogue, it is the ridiculous alien jibberish they use or horrid ADR altering. As for the characters themselves, they are all ridiculous, but the premise of man goes into a hand-to-hand fight with a bug similarly structured to Heimlich the caterpillar allows for this. You know from the box art this is going to be cinema, so you can forgive a lot.

The story follows a very easy to follow narrative, and, contrary to other 1989 flicks of more realistic combat, does not involve rape and murder to push the story forward. It has every other cliché in the book and given the film's premise it does not try to reinvent them. "Arena" could have tried to figure out a way to build this world, but if it was over ninety seven minutes, you would need to start mixing substances to continue having fun watching it.

All the budgetary shortcomings to try and execute a sci-fi action flick is an experiment worth viewing. "Arena" is a rare low budget alien flick that does not try to shock its audience which is quite a refreshing change from most extra terrestrial flicks of the late 80's. It does not take the time to insult your intelligence so it is fun trip that is even more jocular the less seriously you take it.

There are times when fun can triumph fine art. "Arena" is one of those times.

Against the Dark: Steven Seagal lazily fights the Undead

What does not sound good about this premise? Steven Seagal faces off against vampires with the support of Linden Ashby (Johnny Cage from Mortal Kombat) and Keith David. This sounds like made for video gold as long as it can deliver regardless of whether or not the director gives their all. Unfortunately, "Against the Dark" fails on the box art promises and fails to give us vampires or enough Seagal.

It is not like there is not enough of him to go around no matter how the dark and claustrophobic scenes try to cover it. The story focuses on the survival of six people trying to escape a hospital filled with the infected. The only thing vampiric about these monsters is they stay out of the sun light and occasionally try to reason (a total of three times in 94 minutes), otherwise they are pretty much running zombies. Seagal and his group of hunters are only out to kill these confused undead and they show up every now and then, but by no means are they truly intricate to the plot especially since our protagonist never decides to stick with the bad asses.

Why did critics ever knock Don Bluth for only offering 80 minute movies? Any short cuts to the ending would have been great in this film that seems to be nothing more than Seagal's acceptance that he is over the hill and fat.

Yes, swordplay is expected when one is dealing with paranormal opponents, but Seagal’s main appeal is him throwing bad guys to horrid deaths. The audience has to wait 90 minutes for that, and all he does is throw a few of them through walls. Most of the other action is provided by Tanoai Reed (stunt double/part-time actor) along with the only joke in the picture. The limited screen time leaves me with the assumption that Seagal cannot physically cut it anymore. Nothing about Seagal’s character is explored making this picture the ultimate bait and switch especially since David and Ashby are not kicking any ass.

"Against the Dark" knows that it wanted to have the nocturnal undead and that is all. It could not decide what it wanted to do with them. It is not “Marked for Death with Vampires,” and it is not “Under Siege with Vampires.” Either of those plots could have been improved with the homonus-nocturna, but without Seagal willingness to fulfill the needs of these premises, it ends up being a bad B-movie without a sense of humor.

Abandon (2002)

Per IMDb:

An investigation of a college student's missing boyfriend becomes quite strange when she begins to see him periodically.

Katie Holmes in "Abandon" - Image from Rotten Tomatoes

10 Cent Pistol (2014)

Per IMDb:

A story about two lifelong criminals who maneuver through the shady underbelly of Los Angeles in search of wealth, love and redemption.

Promotional Art for "10 Cent Pistol" - Image from Rotten Tomatoes

Essential: My Careers, Yes. Lockdown, Yes. "Demon City Shinjuku", Maybe

Since the film suggests peace between Israel and its Arab neighbors, lets just say in the not too distant future, the primary district of Tokyo, Shinjuku, is a wasteland controlled by vile lowlifes and vengeful spirits. This was the result of a pact made between the demons of hell and Rebi Ra, a practitioner of the chi-dependent martial art of Nenpo who envies any human that possesses more power than him. As a result of his rival Genichiro's sacrifice in battle, the district was separated from the rest of the city, but once Ra regains his strength, the world is doomed.

10 years later, the world's president Kozumi Rama and daughter Sayaka come to visit Japan for the first time. Upon arriving, a bouquet of flowers meant to welcome the president turns out to be a trap from Ra. This attack requires Ra's former master Aguni Rai to be at the president's side as protection, so it seems that no one will be able to stop him from fulfilling his pact with Hell. The only person who may have the knowledge and skills of Nenpo to contend with him is Genichiro's son, Kyoya.

Kyoya was barely a teenager when his father disappeared, and had no time to master Nenpo. Since this seemingly makes him no match for Ra, why should he sacrifice his life only to change nothing? His reluctance to take on the war he just now became aware of seems steadfast, but if he will not go, Sayaka is more than willing to take the task on herself. He cannot just let the girl do this on her own, so despite his better judgment, he will go to war with a realm of demons. Fortunately for him, there are demons and residents who are opposed to Ra's rule, but will that be enough to survive and restore the Monster City?

"Demon City Shinjuku" is the fourth feature by Yoshiaki Kawajiri. If there is any director who I associate with all the negative stereotypes of anime (graphic violence and excessive nudity), it would be him. That maybe an insult to him because I think he has one of the most notable character designs in the industry. But this design serves as a warning that an anime may go over the top in a hurry.

"Demon City" is definitely one of his more restrained features. The first version of this feature that I saw was on the SciFi Channel in the late 1990's. Revisiting it kind of shocked me at moments of blatant sexualization of women, but it turned out that these took nothing away from the story. It leaves you wondering if there was much to take away from to begin with.

The OVA's narrative is rather straight forward and you can tell that they crammed the original novel by Hideyuki Kikuchi into this 82-minute package. Action sequence after action sequence just happens, and that totally takes away from the quest that an unlikely hero is suppose to experience. When it comes to the action, aside from the first demon battle, there is not much to it as a well-placed blow will solve any problem.

There are some great scenes that show you how to cut corners, but only if you want to know how to make a cartoon on the cheap would make this film worth studying. That is kind of a shame because for the year it was made, 1988, it might be the best-looking anime outside of "Akira" and Studio Ghibli. As I said, this was done on the cheap, so I really would like to see another/updated take on "Demon City Shinjuku." At least a version with a English dub that is not used as a voice acting exercise for its cast.

If you can watch "Demon City Shinjuku" with subtitles, this is worth a watch. Too bad finding a free version of that is going to be a challenge. $3.99 for misplaced poor Mexican and British accents is too much.

Brigsby Bear: A Mental Disorder to Rally Around

James Mitchum has been growing up in a post apocalyptic world where VHS is the only thing that allows him to escape the isolation. Every week, a new video is delivered to the bunker. It is the only TV show anyone born after the fall of man knows. At least that is how it was for James. Once Ted and April Mitchum are captured for abducting him as an infant, he is thrown into a world where nothing that he grew up knowing actually exists.

"Brigsby Bear Adventures" was a show produced and developed by Ted to serve as educational programming for his pseudo son, so in order to keep up the illusion of "Fallout: New Salt Lake", James was the only person to ever watch the show. It is the only thing James is interested in, but after his real father, Greg, takes him to see a movie, he discovers there is a way to still hold on to the world he knew, or at least grow beyond it. He is going to conclude the Brigsby story by writing and producing his own feature film.

Being James's only passion, people who try and get to know him cannot help but be mesmerized by his tales of a Chuck E. Cheese robot battling a bearded, cackling sun. His sister Aubrey's friends are all in on making this film and aspiring director Spencer uploading the old tapes to Youtube, the kidnap kid's popularity only grows. With some sympathetic former actors in the police department having access to the show's props, the only things that could possibly stop the film from wrapping up are his real parent's need for him to identify with them and his Google search history that raises a lot of red flags at Homeland Security.

Practical effects are a lost art. If their was ever a greater reason to destroy the Patriot Act, I would like to hear it.

At one hour and 37 minutes, "Brigsby Bear" is a work of genius. You get this convoluted story on top of actual moments of dealing with the trauma of being thrown into a world that you have never known. The story is an inspiring and great tale about the need for compassion and understanding.

There are still some nits to pick. Imagining this film with a budget is something you cannot help but do. The feature does not offer anything in exceptional in terms of primary cast and direction. I think it is a bit too meta to direct the film like the characters directing their own film.

The lead and primary writer Kyle Mooney displays passion well, but the characters who turn out to be his adversaries are too restrained. Perhaps they could have been exaggerated in their efforts to make James face reality, but with Greg Kinnear, Mark Hamill, and all the adolescent characters shine when they get their chance, director Dave McCary's approach may have been appropriate.

With concise direction and writing, it is a shame that "Brigsby Bear" did not get a wider release. It is funny and clever and has a message that I think everyone could benefit from. The actors you came to see deliver and any one from Generation X to Millenials can appreciate the celebration of not quite ready for PBS productions.